You are not doing it out of your own good will, rather you are doing it out of perceived obligation.ДЄsk yourself, вЂњAm I being conditional because of how my child is behaving?вЂќДЄre you harboring bitterness towards a person for their behavior? In that case, you are loving them conditionally. In essence, вЂњhave toвЂќ is being forced to it is not truly loving. вЂњI should love my children and cook for them.вЂќ вЂњI should exercise.вЂќ There is also a lot of вЂњhave to.вЂќ вЂњI have to do this for you.вЂќ Conditional love brings a lot of вЂњshouldвЂќ with it. For example, in our parenting many parents have a tendency to stop talking to our kids or they punish them. We have a tendency to love conditionally, especially with our closest personal relationships. What are the Clues of Unconditional vs Conditional Love? You can love this person for who they are and how they were created. We all make mistakes, but with unconditional love, you understand a person is not identified by their behavior.

Unconditional love is about seeing the person for who they are вЂ“ seeing their highest potential without seeing their behaviors. I donвЂ™t need you to change for me to be happy, and I do not need to change for you to be happy! If you love me, then you accept me the way I am. I donвЂ™t necessarily know there is a specific definition of love everyone would agree upon, but it is a knowing you are lovedвЂ¦you are accepted, affirmed, cared for, safe. We will start by defining unconditional love. Think about itвЂ¦ what is love anyway? How would you define it? Is it a feeling? Is it a behavior? Is it a knowledge or awareness expressed to myself and others?Д®ven though there are many types of love each of us is familiar with, we are going to focus on conditional and unconditional love. When I address the topic of unconditional love with clients, most of them are clueless as to what it really means- perhaps because love is an abstract concept. We use вЂњconditionalвЂќ as a framework of what we are speaking about. Although some people would say вЂњIf itвЂ™s conditional, then itвЂ™s not really love,вЂќ it is just a way of speaking.

The topic of conditional and unconditional love is addressed with almost every client I work with.

Unconditional love vs conditional love